Lots of people dream of having unlimited power but that requires a hatred of democracy. Take this test to see if you are ignorant and biased enough to try holding the reins of an embarrassed nation.
1. The three branches of U.S. government are:
a) Executive, Legislative, Judicial.
b) President, President, President.
2. A primary goal of the leader of the free world should be:
a) Upholding the Constitution.
b) Making as much money as possible.
3. To ensure that future generations have a hospitable planet:
a) The U.S. should lead the world in combatting climate change.
b) The question is moot because “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”
4. Helping assure transparency in government is one reason for:
a) The free press.
b) Forget that. Instead let’s go with the bleating of Sean “Melissa” Spicer and Kellyanne “Alternative Integrity” Conway.
5. Justice and equality are best served by:
a) Invoking and upholding the rule of law.
b) Appointing bigot Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III as Attorney General.
6. To ensure the world’s confidence in the U.S., the POTUS should:
a) Act in a sober and responsible manner.
b) Confidence schmonfidence. Let’s insult allies, attack NATO, and terrify all sentient beings by suggesting that more nations obtain nuclear weapons.
7. Emphasizing facts requires:
a) Reading and comprehending multiple news sources.
b) That takes work. It’s more fun to quote FoxFakeNews, NotSoBrightBart, WorldNutDaily, InfoWhores, Heritage Confoundation, Lame-o Institute, and DailyStormTrooper.
8. As leader of the free world, the POTUS should set an example by:
a) Emphasizing facts, data, science, and reality.
b) Making up crap.
9. A responsible chief executive will:
a) Gather a team of responsible thinkers.
b) Take advice from nihilist Steve Bannon and rightwing nutjob Stephen Miller.
10. To remove any potential conflicts of interest:
a) The POTUS must divest his financial holdings.
b) Hey, no conflict, just the bottom line: grab the money grab the money grab the money lie about it grab more money grab still more money grab the money grab the money grab the money lie about it grab more money grab still more money make the deal make the deal make murica hate again grab the money grab the money grab the money lie about it grab more money grab still more money grab the money grab the money make the deal grab the money and screw you for not getting in on the deal.
Scoring
10 points for every (a) answer and zero points for every (b) answer.
100 points = Excellent choice for POTUS
90 points = Good choice for POTUS
80 points = Okay choice for POTUS
70 points = You are Millard Fillmore.
60 points = You are a staffer for Richard Nixon.
50 points = You are Richard Nixon.
40 points = You are Caligula.
30 points = You are Idi Amin.
20 points = You are Mitch McConnell.
10 points = You are Paul Ryan.
0 points = You are Donald Trump.
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Editorial Note: Be aware this series of political articles may contain intentional satire by author John Scott G and is not fully based on fact (aside from some of the stupider things, which are sadly 100% real). Hopefully you can tell the difference?
This opinion piece is Copr. © 2017 by John Scott G and originally published on CaliforniaNewswire.com – a publication of The Neotrope® News Network – all commercial and reprint rights reserved. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author. Editorial collage image by and Copr. © John Scott G.
