When the conservative geniuses in the Trump misadministration released a one-page ‘tax plan,’ a cheer was heard from everyone whose job requires them to come up with detailed plans for things.

Conservatives Lack Work Ethics

“A single page for the country’s tax plan? One page? Seriously, only one page?!?! Wow, I didn’t know you could get away with something as lazy as that,” said a character I just invented to make sarcastic comments about rethuglican stupidity.

“This single-pager thing from Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin is great!” said another fictitious source. “I used to work for days to write out all the details for ordering medical and pharmaceutical supplies for our hospital emergency room, but if you can put a ‘tax plan’ on a single page I can do healthcare purchasing in a jiff.” And here is the purchasing plan she suggested:

(1) Have department heads list supplies we need.

(2) Have assistant order them.

(3) Done.

Following the inspiring example of Mnuchin’s simplemindedness, here are a few more examples of the conservative approach to planning in our government:

Space Exploration:

(1) Get list of stuff from Elon Musk at SpaceX.

(2) Send people into outer space.

(3) Have them return to earth safely.

(4) Done.

Harvesting the Oceans:

(1) Introduce farmers to scuba divers.

(2) Collect notes from their meeting.

(3) Get food from the sea.

(4) Done.

Controlling North Korea:

(1) Tell China to get hopping to resolve this dangerous situation.

(2) With spare time left over from ending this problem, see about ordering good seats at Wrestlemania.

(3) Done.

Trade Agreements:

(1) Make deals that are favorable to the United States.

(2) Done.

Combatting ISIS:

(1) Kill the bad guys.

(2) Take their oil.

(3) Split profits with Putin.

(4) Done.

Begin destroying Democracy to foster plutocracy, theocracy, and kleptocracy in the United States:

(1) Elect right-wing nut-job douchebags.

(2) Done.


Editorial Note: Be aware this series of political articles may contain intentional satire by author John Scott G and is not fully based on fact (aside from some of the stupider things, which are sadly 100% real). Hopefully you can tell the difference?

This opinion piece is Copr. © 2017 by John Scott G and originally published on – a publication of The Neotrope® News Network – all commercial and reprint rights reserved. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author. Editorial collage image by and Copr. © John Scott G.


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